Maybe Baby by Kim Golden

Author:Kim Golden [Kim Golden]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Literature & Fiction, United States, African American, Women's Fiction, Contemporary Women, Contemporary Fiction
Amazon: B00J5SF1YS
Publisher: Echo Books
Published: 2014-03-20T04:00:00+00:00

We woke early the next morning and, after showering together, after fucking in his shower, after fucking one more time in his bed, we got dressed in tense silence and then Mads walked me to my hotel. At first, there was a chasm separating us, but then his hand sought mine and our fingers entwined. We were just a few meters from the turning to the hotel when he pulled me aside and said, "I'm not used to this. I don't like putting you in this situation, or even being in this situation, but I can't stay away from you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said, his expression still grim. "I just need to know it won't be like this forever." Then he cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. His fingers trembled against my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't bear seeing the uncertainty growing between us.

"I don't want to go."

"You have to."

"We could go back to your place."

"You can't avoid him forever, Laney." Mads kissed me lightly. "Sooner or later, you have to decide what you want. Who you want."

Checking in at the hotel after spending the night with Mads cast a pall on the spell we'd created. I wished I'd never answered my phone. I could see the disappointment etched across his face, in the tight line of his grimace, the flatness of his eyes. I thought Mads would say goodbye to me in the lobby, but he took my suitcase and escorted me to my room. Before he left, he gave me a slow, furious kiss that almost felt like a break-up kiss. I watched him as he lumbered down the hall to the elevators. I couldn't just let him leave like this. I called out to him. He stopped. It took a few seconds before he turned to face me.

"Next weekend, come to Stockholm?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'll figure out something." I wasn't sure what solution I could come up with other than booking a hotel room in Stockholm and telling even more lies to Niklas. There was also an element of danger in that we might be found out.

"All right. You tell me how you want to do it, and I'll come." Then he disappeared around the corner. I wanted to follow him, to drag him back to my room and tell him I'd go along with whatever he wanted. But how could I? And even now as I stepped back into my hotel room and closed the door, I felt like someone who'd been glamoured and was awaking from the spell.

All I knew was I wanted Mads.

* * *

By the time Niklas arrived, I'd unpacked and hung up all my clothes. My computer was set up on the desk, and my work files were scattered around the room. There was no trace left of the night Mads and I had spent together. Not externally. Inside me, a kernel was growing. I hid it under layers of the old me. The me who would never do something like this, and who still wanted to work things out with Niklas.

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